Happy New Year! Goals For 2012

Posted By: Lauren Marks · 1/5/2012 7:40:00 AM

These are by no means "resolutions"...cuz I'm sure that I will break them.  That's why they're goals.  I will try everyday (or almost everyday) to reach them.  And I'll only mildly beat myself up for not reaching them...daily.

1. blog more often

2. curb my SB chai habit to 5 a week.

3. Try not to say "excellent" after my interviewees (musicians or comedians) answers a question of mine.  Believe me, I have to edit these out before you hear them!

4. Ask people to not smoke around me rather than smack them upside the head and stomp on their ciggarette....however I'm thinking of marketing this as a smoking cessation program.

5. When a sales person in a store asks me if they can help me, I can just say "no" instead of "Quit following me!".  In fact, I think I will follow them when they leave, around town, in a store, when they go home, and ask if I can help them, and when they say "no", "now you know how it feels!"

6. Say "no thank you" to solicitors when they come to my door instead of putting them in a head lock and scream "the devil made me do it!".

7. Use my "indoor" voice outdoors and my "I don't want to get caught" voice indoors.

8. Just listen when a friend talks about a problem and withold the solution to their problem because I don't want to interrupt and save the solution for my new self-help book of solutions so I can make some money on it.

9. Amp up my sarcasm because people are becoming numb to it.

10. Politely hand out a "you're not THAT important to cut me off, to be in front of me & get to the light first, asshole" ticket. If all else fails, get a stick'em dart gun that shoots darts that have bright orange flags.  Then report to the police that the car with all the darts on them needs to be arrested for being an asshole! (my thanks to Gallagher for that one).

Well, I'm certain there are many more I should include, but for the life of me and my brain foggy from benedryl, I can't think of them.  Hope your 2012 is as productive as mine. 


I need a nap.

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